I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
