So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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