I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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