Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
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