Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Randomize
