So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
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I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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