She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pooping to opera.
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