I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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