No awkward lesbian experiences without me
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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