Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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