The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
