after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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