I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
