: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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