And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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