hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
