I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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