You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
