is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
