She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
When are your genitals available?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize