North Korea, Best Korea!
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
