I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
