May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
