Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
