Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize