Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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