capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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