After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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