Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
