i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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