What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
