I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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