Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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