I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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