I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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