uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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