My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize