I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Also, beer. Big fan.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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