Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
