It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
