i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize