Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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