Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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