so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
