thus making me awesome and them whores
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
