Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
