the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
