I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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