I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
