Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
