O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
