All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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