my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
