I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
