So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Randomize
