In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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