guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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