bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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