Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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