Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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