I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
