It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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