I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I need to stop coming to work sober
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.