just tell him i said nine months
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
